the word everything :)

okay so for about the past month and a half i have been hearing the word everything , and i have just wondering why i have this stuck in my head. Then this past weekend i went to this conference thingy called Acquire the Fire, it was like your typical teen christian conference, i mean don't get me wrong the worship was amaazing but it was typical. Anyways Friday night i think they had mentioned the word everything about fifteen to twenty times in less than like two hours i lost track about the thirteenth time it was mentioned, so that Friday night on our way honme i was racking my brain on as to why God needed me to hear that particular word, and i couldn't come up with it. So the next and last day of the conference it was still typical until after we had like an hour break for dinner. Well whenever we went back inside to the conference after our dinner break i was just expecting the same thing, but when we entered i felt like God was just there in that very room, so worship started and it was just so holy and lovely so inthe mist of it i decided i would just try to talk to God and just apologize and stuff and during that like twenty minutes i felt God relievence on why the word everything was stuck in my head, then i remembered the everything skit and how God had stuck by that girl's side through everything and it made me realize about how much we need God because he created us and he loves us, so i basically he is our everything so i decided i would post the lifehouse everything skit lyrics ansd see what you think so yeah...

Everything by: Lifehouse"Find me here, and speak to me I want to feel You,
I need to hear You You are the light that's leading me to the place
Where I find peace again
You are the strength that keeps me walking You are the hope that keeps me trusting You are the light to my soul You are my purpose You're everything
And how can I stand here with You And not be moved by You Would You tell me how could it be any better than this? (yeah)
You calm the storms and You give me rest You hold me in Your hands You won't let me fall
You still my heart and You take my breath away Would You take me in,
take me deeper now And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this
And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this
Cause You're all I want, You're all I need You're everything...everything
You're all I want You're all I need You're everything...everything
You're all I want You're all I need You're everything...everything
You're all I want You're all I need Everything...everything
And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this
And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be any better-any better than this
And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this"

monster is me entirely :(

so you know when you know somethings different about you like sometnhings totally wrong but you just can't understand it? well for about the past six months now i know somethings been different about me but i couldn't figure out what was...i laugh a little later to others peoples jokes that truly aren't that funny to me in the first palce i'm irritable all of the time i just wanna be left alone but i don't at the same time because i'm scared to be left alone with this monster i've created inside of me so i always hang out with the same people do the same old thing. i put on my fake signature smile like my life is just freaking amazing when truly its not. i just feel so broken like i just wandered on my own. it actually got so bad to where one of my own bestfriends just didn't even know who i was anymore and truly i lost that girl inside of me when i came back to school in august. so basically i was just wallowing in self pity when i again came across the lifehouse everything skit and of course i cried seeing as though i've been through every stinking thing in that skit, but it made me once again remember what our precious savior Jesus Christ has done and will do for me and you so i say to i'm sorry for all of you i've offended or treated badly i really am truly sorry i'm not perfect trust me on that one. i'm sick of this mentality that we christians have to have it together every flipping day, well you know what i'm done. that menatlity and sterotype is OVER. so i'm sorry for what i've become this past six months i've been trying to hide form it for a long time now. i let satan win well not anymore, i'm through with hiding and anger and well basically hating myself so yeah...comment if you want whatevs.

hello world

well this is my first blog so yeah lol i'm kinda lost but i am new to this but i love to write and express my feelings lol so i decided that this would be a good way to do so :)